In the US alone, more than 50% of families are recoupled or remarried. This means there are more stepfamilies, blended families, or co-parents than before. If you have been through a divorce, saying you’ve been through a difficult time might be an understatement.
The idea of co-parenting, even with great co-parenting tips, may seem like an impossibility. However, as hard as it has been on you, understand that it has been a pivotal experience for your children. The impact of your separation may not only be emotional.
Divorce can also impact them psychologically, academically, and physically. This means that as a parent, you need to rise above the issues for your children’s sake.
If you are currently looking at the possibility of co-parenting, read on for a list of helpful co-parenting tips to help you.
1. Your Children’s Needs Should Come First
Regardless of how messy your divorce was and how much you’d like to stay away from your ex-spouse, always keep in mind that your children’s needs come first. At this point, you should have raised the possibility of co-parenting. Make sure you put all your differences with your ex-spouse on the back burner when establishing corporating ground rules.
You may not have a great dynamic with your ex-spouse and may harbor negative feelings. Still, always remember that you love your children a lot more than you hate your spouse. They may do things to provoke you or disagree entirely with the rules your set.
Still, always remember you’re putting up with them for your children, and you love your children so much more. You should both work towards making the separation as easy as possible for the children and focus on their well-being and happiness.
2. Your Ex-Spouse Is Still a Parent
Most of the time after a divorce, you’ll find that ex-spouses are not the most favorite person to deal with. As much as you need a break from them, remember that they’re still the other parent and your child or children need them. That said, offhand comments, belittling, and snide remarks are things that your child will pick up on.
Whenever your co-parent upsets you, seek out an adult conversation away from the kids. The relationship between your co-parent and your children should be healthy and loving even post-separation. It should not be a reflection of your feelings towards them.
If you feel you can’t get along, consider seeing a co-parenting therapist. It may be that all you need is a mediator who will offer your objective guidance.
A third party will give you the best co-parenting tips that’ll work even when you don’t get along. You can also consider seeing a mediator for other aspects of the relationship, such as paternity actions.
Even therapy may not be easy, but it’ll be a positive step towards creating a healthy co-parenting relationship. Couples with kids should understand that this is a relationship they’ll have for the rest of their lives. So, getting along should be more of a priority and not an option.
3. Make Communication a Priority
One of the essential parts of effective co-parenting is communication. This is one of those things you have to establish from the word go. Formulate a strategy that will work for both of you.
At the same time, you need to be realistic about your limitations and strengths. If you find it hard to have face-to-face conversations with your co-parent at the moment, then it’s prudent for you to agree not to meet in person.
You can find a different and less emotional communication method that will be as effective as maintaining peace. Regardless of the communication method you choose, make sure that it remains open at all times. Avoid making the mistake of shutting down communications as a punishment to your co-parent or keeping information away from them that could ultimately hurt the children.
It doesn’t help your children to see both of you giving each other the silent treatment. Once you get the hang of co-parenting, you can always go back to the drawing board and re-evaluate your communication strategy. See whether you’ve gotten to the point where you can have conversations in person without getting upset.
4. Stay Consistent and On the Same Page
When co-parenting after divorce, the best-case scenario is when you’re both consistent and on the same page about the most critical aspects of your children’s life.
They could be minor or major issues such as discipline, behavior, playtime, personal hygiene, screen time, and how they do chores. Even though you’re currently divorced, your children still need guidance in all these things, and if you disagree on the best method that will be consistent, it will confuse the children.
If your parenting style was already different during your marriage, it’s doubtful it’s going to work now that you’re divorced. However, at this point, you need to learn how to meet your co-parent halfway and avoid debates on every decision. As long as you trust that your co-parent has the best interest and loves your children equally, then trust that they will take good care of them.
5. Don’t Make Your Child the Intermediary
You should not expect your children to be the go-between or the messenger between both of you. This is regardless of whether you are making snide comments or for logistics purposes. If phone conversations are not possible all the time, read text messages or emails instead.
You can also opt for co-parenting apps that will ensure everyone is on the same page at all times. One of the best things you can do is create a shared family calendar that both parents, and the kids, if necessary, can access at any given time.
This calendar will allow everyone to stay informed about the school, social events, sports schedules, medical appointments, and other similar issues. This will lessen the need to keep reminding your co-parent about meetings or games they need to attend.
The Only Co-Parenting Tips You Need
Now that you have decided your marriage is over, you need to put your kids first and ensure they get the best of their parents. Many people will tell you that single parenting is not easy, so instead of raising kids alone, try to make it work with your partner. Do check child custody lawyers in houston
Many millennials have taken up successful co-parenting, and with these co-parenting tips, you’ll be well on your way to easing your journey and making things work.
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